prodigal god st. andrews - ames: April 2010

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Lighter Side - The Older Brother

On the Lighter Side

How to Get Into Heaven

A man dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the man, "Here's how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you've done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one hundred or more, you can come in."

"Well," says the man. "I was happily married to the same woman for 52 years. I never looked at another woman. I was attentive and loved her dearly."

"That's great," says St. Peter. "That'll be two points."

"Hmmm," says the man. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully."

"Wonderful," says St. Peter, "That's worth another point."

"One point!" says the man. "Okay, okay. I was involved with a prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison, at least monthly, and shared Jesus with them."

"Wow!" says St. Peter. "That's another two points!"

"Only two points!" says the man. "At this rate, it'll be by the grace of God that'll I'll ever get into this place."

"Bingo!" says St. Peter. "That's one hundred points! Come on in."

The Lighter Side - The Younger Brother

On the Lighter Side

Letter from a Prodigal Son?

Dear folks,
I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy to have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
Your son, Marvin.

P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late.

A few days later Marvin received a letter from his father. It said, 'Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!'